Based on this picture you are probably thinking one of two things right now...did Fourno's open up a second location on the Jersey Shore; or the second being...what the f*@k is around his neck??? From the moment Rico Suave walked into the bar with his crew, I knew if I kept drinking I was bound to get in a lot of trouble; this is any people-watchers dream come true, right? From his greased up hair to his puke-uh-shell necklace complete with hanging coke vial shark tooth? He's perfect and Ladies I'm pretty sure he's single ;)
And what does the Ave's most eligible bachelor drink Ladies?...a Fourno's Lemonade a.k.a. Guido Juice, of course! Just look at his Zoolander face while he sips on that Guido Juice, do you think he wears that necklace in the shower? My guess is ab-so-fucking-lutely he does.
Oh, and if you're like me who has apparently been blacked out everytime at Fourno's, apparently there is a GIANT mural of the Greek God Zeus, (no the guy in the photo is not named Zeus, that's Guido Rico, pay attention PUH-lease!) Just look at that sexy beast in the background eyeing Fourno Guido! Watch out ladies, you don't want to fuck with Zeus.
After about 30 minutes we I got bored of Guido and had to bounce. I mean I had waited a full 3 beers and nothing! I thought he would have at least flipped a table or started break-dancing to DJ Tiesto by now, this was bullshit! Maybe this was some sort of pussy Guido breed that the West Coast has brewed up, not a fan. I like my Guido's like I like my Lindsay Lohan..a little orange and a WHOLE lot of f#@king crazy.
All I knew was I had only two things on my mind...getting a Po Raw Dog across the street...and that I HAD to have that necklace, coke vial or no coke vial. So I spilled his Guido Juice, snatched the necklace and made my walk home, Puka shells on neck, Po Raw Dog in hand.
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